I can say with pride that most of the temptations present in our society have never had the slightest effect on me. My biggest vice is really my tendency to overindulge in my favorite foods.

Tobacco? Disgusting and idiotic. Not worth it.

Sexual experimentation? Not my thing, as well as against my values. Not worth it.

Alcohol? Way too expensive and, considering my current age, way too illegal. Not worth it.

The result? I am, by all accounts, a reasonably successful young man respected and well-liked by my peers and my elders. Of course, I  do not mean to suggest that the aforementioned behaviors necessarily hinder success. I’m just proof that they don’t cause success either.

I have been told countless times that college is where young adults experiment with new experiences, particularly those that may be described as temptations. Colleges are notorious for the drunken parties and general inebriated rowdiness. Comedy movies will quite often joke about how a character (usually female) is sexually straight, except for that one time in college. Regardless, a campus is prime ground for hookups. And, unlike high school, nobody cares if someone smokes on school grounds, as long as you’re not too close to the buildings. My observations over my time at college have confirmed that the assumption that college = experimentation is positively correct. People do dabble in new things, things that are often risky and illegal.

My only question is, why?

I don’t understand where the motivation comes from, especially the drinking. What inspires the desire to drink an overpriced (often foul-tasting) beverage that, if one isn’t careful, will turn the drinker into a clumsy buffoon with zero social graces and sometimes even less of a temper?

I understand if one moderately drinks in a social setting, once it’s legal, but this seems to be the polar opposite of collegiate reality.

That statement brings up another point: the legality of many of these vices. Illicit drugs are quite popular with experimenting youth, and alcohol seems to hold a desirability to rival that of the Victoria’s Secret Angels. Yet no amount of desiring changes the fact that such activities are still illegal. They are illegal for a reason: to protect the welfare of my age bracket. Frankly, we are not yet mature enough to drink responsibly, with a few exceptions to this rule. However, if one were to read this and think, “Yeah, that’s me. I’m mature enough,” they would have actually proved the opposite to be true. Observations have shown me that young college students, despite what they say, can’t handle alcohol. If they could, they wouldn’t like to drink as much as they do. You know what they say about the taste of forbidden fruit. It’s bitter.

I really don’t comprehend why all these behaviors are so appealing to others in my age group. It makes no sense to me. If someone could explain it for me, I’d really appreciate it.

And if you happen to be someone who partakes in such activities, tell me: Would you do it with your mother watching you? For those who still don’t care, please be careful.

Please.