Since news is going to spread one way or another, I’d rather clear the air once now and be able to just refer people here than explain over and over and over (because who has time for that?):
I have a bump on my brain.
Now, I’m not speaking metaphorically here, my brain has a literal growth of some sort, which would explain the symptoms I’ve exhibited as of late. This growth (because I really don’t have any other word for it) is pressing up against my optic nerve, so my intermittent losses of vision make a lot more sense, and this same growth is preventing my cranial fluids from properly draining, which explains my fairly steady record of headaches in the recent past.
Now, as cool and sci-fi as this all sounds, I’m unfortunately not developing any superpowers. On the contrary, this is a situation that is quite unrelated to abdominal muscles, yet requires just as expedited a removal.
Yes, that was a Jersey Shore joke.
Of what nature this brain bump is exactly, we can’t be sure until we get in there to take a look-see. So, this Monday, that is exactly how I’ll be spending my time: my new neurosurgeon will be gettin’ all up in my brain’s bid-nass, before we come up with a new game plan.
Of course, since I will be having my skull drilled open Monday as just the start of my treatment, Bonas (at least for the remainder of the semester) is just going to have to wait until my head’s feng shui’s been restored. So, I’m sorry to all of my friends at Bonaventure, but your conversations will not have my particular brand of wit mixed in with them for a while. Please stay strong.
Also, if at any moment at present or in the future I seem overly… cavalier… about my newly found condition, please don’t question it too much. It’s mostly bluster, and is how I’ve chosen to cope with my situation. After all, they say laughter is the best medicine, so I’m choosing to overmedicate myself. Additionally, there isn’t really anything I can do about it independently, so I’m not going to sweat over it. Why worry myself about a problem I can’t solve?
However, I will ask a few things of those who know me:
1. I’m still the same guy, so please, treat me as such. Laugh. Joke. Smile. Leave all the crying and crap to my mother (who, let the record show, is also managing to laugh much of this off like a champ. Mad props to you, Mom.) But seriously, I’m still a fun guy, so let me be a fun guy.
2. When treatment time comes (hopefully ASA-freaking-P) there is a good possibility, really more of a likelihood, that I will have a tube draining my brain fluids from my head into my midsection. How noticeable will this tube be? Frankly, I’m not sure, but please do me the courtesy of not noticing it all too much. I understand that this tube will be fairly disconcerting, but you can just pretend that I’m some sort of cyborg or something, like I’m going to pretend.
For the record, I’m also going to go ahead and start developing some tube-themed pick-up lines for it now, so I’m ready for all ‘dem fine bit- women- at the clubs.
“Hey, I noticed you were staring at my drainage tube. Why don’t we go back to your place and I’ll show you my bigger one?”
I think I could make that work.
3. For those who will have the strength to not stare at the tube that will likely be running from my neck, yes, I’m aware that I will be/am bald. Please do not comment on said baldness, it will not be a revelation to me. However, if I am the first to make a bald joke, it’s fair game and please, have at me with further bald jokes.
I think that about sums it all up, but if there are any questions you have left unanswered, please don’t hesitate to ask. It’s unlikely I’ll be able to answer the more technical questions, but I’ll certainly try, or at least make a terrible and shameless joke about it.
So yeah, it can be scary in my brain, but let’s try to make it more like Scary Movie.
Also, Happy Thanksgiving everybody! Probably important to count our blessings today, in light of recent events.
[Insert Petraeus scandal joke here]
I love you all, so don’t hesitate to visit!
Yours most sincerely,
Sean
Good luck with your treatment. And let us know if your drainage tube pick up line works.
Rest assured, I’ll definitely post quite a few updates. And sincerely, thank you.
Sending you well wishes and a full recovery. You’re a good kid O’Brien and I hope you get well soon! 🙂 If you ever feel like talking, you have my number. Be strong.
So then about that App? 😉 If you need a pick-me-up or a non-judgmental ear, lemme know.
Sean, as always you have our love. We hope to see you soon.
Sean, man, that’s some heavy stuff. We’ll have to have another teatime at some point to discuss the finer things in life, like decorative towels and chic salt shakers, perhaps–if one is feeling naughty–some fine chocolates.
But seriously thanks for the honesty and humor. I hope for the best!
The brain tube pick up lines would work on me. 😉
Sean, I’ll be working on some drain tube pick up lines…right after I send as much positive energy in your direction as I can…the Netti’s love you times infinity.
SOB~ Hope all went well today! As always, thanks for making us laugh. Looking forward to updates.
Sean, if you need some help passing the time, I can send some sweet objectives your way!
OHGODNO
Hey Sean, You may give “you tube” a run for their money!!! I know that was bad, but I will work on it! Sending my thoughts and prayers your way. Keep up the positive attitude. (But it is not your job to cheer up the rest of us! Let us do that for you once in a while.) Best wishes, Miss A
Hey mini me! 🙂
You are in my thoughts and prayers Sean! I can’t beleive I’m just seeing this..What a week you and the family have had!! I know and believe you can overcome This new challenge! You have Always had a unique way of rising above and focusing only on the positive! A true great quality that I have admired and been inspired by. I am so proud of you Sean! I wish you Continued stregnth and BLESSINGS!! LIVE,LAUGH,LOVE…And ALWAYS DANCE &SING!!:-)
Love ya Bud!!!!
I’ll keep spare tubes in my office (as well as a few prayers) in case you need one.
Good luck!
Sean – our thoughts and prayers are with you always – you are our fav SOB! Mr. Lester can help with bald issues! (plz don’t tell him I said that!)
Love –
Mrs. Lester
Sean- You are in our thoughts and prayers every day. Your wonderful attitude will get you through these tough times and you will prevail, no doubt!!!! Prayers and a positive attitude makes all the difference!!!! We know!! God bless to you and your family!!!
God bless you young man. Attitude is a huge part of healing and you have a great one. Your mom and dad raised you well and they should be very proud of you. Best of luck to you and fight hard it sounds like you have a lot left to give to this world.